Eliyahu Jian

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S: We’re gonna get all spiritual in this episode number 131. Specifically, we’re gonna talk Kabbalah. Now, we’ve first covered Kabbalah in episode 98 with Yehuda Ashkenazi, my Kabbalah teacher. I love Kabbalah, it’s really changed me, it’s made me a better human which reminds me of the expression,“We’re not human being having a spiritual experience. We’re spiritual beings having a human experience.” It’s just so profound and I believe it’s so true. My very first Kabbalah teacher was Eliyahu Jian and that’s our guest today. Eliyahu has been teaching Kabbalah for nearly 30 years. He’s got an uncanny ability to simplify esoteric wisdom. He’s a coach, speaker, spiritual teacher, and founder of the non-profit Vital Transformation. Eliyahu, it’s great to have you on the show.

E: Thank you for having me.

S: Let’s start with a simple question. What’s the meaning of life?

E: Very simple question, right? Very, very simple. The meaning of life is first, to stay alive as long as we can and taking care of this vehicle called body. The soul that live within this body need to reach the purpose by going to that paradox of the body consciousness versus the soul consciousness, which is the body is all about, of course, receiving a little bit selfish and the soul is all about more mature, more giving, more loving. The purpose of life is to live with those two forces and that’s basically us, our awareness and consciousness, that’s us, the bridge between the soul and the body. The meaning of life is when a person is able and when you will be able and capable to overcome the body needs or desire of survivals and reach out to their soul purpose, which is more giving, loving, forgiving.

S: What is this body consciousness versus the soul consciousness? If you had to describe our evolution of our consciousness.

E: Basically, when the sperm meet the egg, that’s the beginning of everything. Our father and mother is giving us the physical vehicle to be able to inject what we believe the divine awareness or consciousness into the body. We have basically three partners. One is the Father, one is the Mother, they created the body, they created the vehicle, and the divine God, the light, whatever people wanna call it. It’s the force that basically injected to that vehicle that was just created, the soul. The evolution, as we are growing, as we evolve, as we’re going to the next level, a lot of us are very much taking care of the body, but it’s very difficult to take care of the soul because we don’t always listen to the soul. When was the last time a person stopped to think and say, “Why did I even think about it?” “Why did this thought came into my mind?” We believe that there’s an endless amount of thought, consciousness, awareness that passing by on our brain, our mind. We can do whatever we want. We really don’t have free will if the thought come again or not, but we do have a freewill if to act on it in a positive way or in a negative way. The true essence of our evolution is use our free will in a way that it will be contributing to other people and to our self. Does that answer your question?

S: Yeah. I think that opens up lots of other questions though, because if we don’t have free will on having certain thoughts, what does that make us? Just like a receiver or kind of an antenna for random thoughts that are in the universe?

E: They’ve actually proven that. I have to look at Google and find that. Somebody, a scientist, a professor proved that our mind really is like a dish, like an antenna, that we have positive thought, we have negative thought and our choice is to filter the positive thought and act on it right away. The negative thought is to wait on them until it will go away. Basically, the free will is time, what you gonna do about it when you have a great idea? A lot of people get lazy. That’s why they say that, “A place where you find the best idea ever is the cemetery.” Everybody has a great idea but they die, unfortunately, before they manifest it. Because when you have great idea you have to go and do something about it. A negative consciousness or a negative thought like not forgiving someone, holding grudge, being angry, that kind of thing has to go with waiting. We have to wait until the storm will pass and then things are gonna get better.

S: Right. If you have a thought that doesn’t serve you and doesn’t serve the greater good, you just need to let it pass through you and not be reactive with that thought. Conversely, if you have a positive thought, which may not be yours, it’s just that you’re receiving it and you don’t act on it, that misses an opportunity to kind of like your soul calling to create light or reveal light for others into the universe, your evolutionary growth as far as your consciousness.

E: Yeah. That’s what make difference between people. When we look at people, some people who are struggling, it’s mostly with their mind because your mind is your best friend. At least, we think it’s the best friend, but the mind is split as two, two personality to the mind itself. It’s negative and positive. Whatever we feed, that’s what becomes stronger. We need to work on that. That’s a lifetime of working, to be careful that the negative thought will not take over and the positive thought will not stay there for too long without us acting on it.

S: Yeah.

E: For example, if you have a thought to go forgive somebody who hurt you very badly, you got to act on it. Otherwise, that thought will stay there for too long. It will become rotten. It will become bad and there is no use for it anymore. Basically, the advice is positive thought, you got to act on it fast. Negative thought, you have to let it pass and wait a little bit if you cannot deal with it because all of those things is basically a test, not even a test, it’s just a chance for us to overcome things and then create a better good, create a better universe, and create a better version of us. Just that, it’s a great idea.

S: Yeah. That reminds of the parable of the two wolves and the one you feed. Would you like to share that parable? Do you know that one?

E: I hope I know all the details. I think the story goes like somebody come to the Chief, an Indian Chief. If I’m not mistaken, that’s how the story goes. He complains that there’s too many problems in his mind. The worry, anger, can’t forgive his brother. The Chief answers, “You have two wolves. One is negative and one is positive. Now, you can feed each and every one of them.” Again, I don’t remember the details of the story, which one will win. The Chief answered, “The one that you feed and if you feed the bad wolf in your mind, unfortunately, that’s the force that’s going to win.” Our awareness, which is the bridge between the soul and the body is giving us the chance to be able to choose where we’re going. When people say, “I have a miserable relationship or miserable life.” They’re not lying, they have a miserable life because they feed the wrong wolf or they feed the wrong side of the brain. When people say, “I cannot say thank you enough for how great my life is.” They also tell the truth because they fed the good wolf or the good consciousness. Nobody has ever lied or did a mistake, both side are right. But, where is it putting us? In a place that it’s all in our hand. We control everything in our mind. Of course, if we go deep into it, then come the speech level to control our speech, to control our action. The last two are easier, much easier. The first one is the tougher, the thought. The action and the speech, that’s mostly in your control, if to talk or not to talk, if to do or not to do. But the thought is only in your control after you define and filter if it’s negative and positive because to tell you the truth, sometimes negative and positive look the same. If we take a person who has some addiction problem and we talk about addiction as a bad thing, he or she will not think that the addiction is a bad thing because that’s what’s serving them at that moment. Same person with fear, the fear serving us. When we were young, our mother told us not to talk strangers. She just forgot to tell us that after 21, it’s very good to talk to strangers otherwise, we cannot have business, or relationship, or anything. Those things has to be transformed and understood what’s negative, what’s positive not based on where I am now, based on what I’m thinking now can benefit society and myself. I hope that’s clear.

S: That’s awesome. I’m guessing your perspective on watching the news and fixating on everything negative about the president or whatever your political leanings are is probably not helpful because you’re wallowing in negativity and you’re feeding the bad wolf.

E: Right now, every new president that come in, the people have hope that this man or this woman will go ahead and make their life better. Once we think like that, we lost our free will. The one who can make your life better is only yourself. The president was elected by the people and the people opted to make those decisions or other decision, but if we believe in consciousness, in awareness, don’t we believe that majority of people who can meditate, who can pray, who can connect to their real good side of themselves will affect one person who make decision. After all, he’s just one person versus so many people. To aid the decision he made and be angry, I don’t know how would that help the country, him, or the people. We gotta change. We gotta be better. There is a book from 2000 years ago. It’s called the Talmud. In the book that’s called the Talmud, it’s written there that when the people misbehave and they don’t choose well, and they don’t work in themselves spiritually, the leader also will be from a lower level. When people start to behave and become better, then the leader that lead them become a better leader. What do we learn from that? That the leader is the same level of where the people are. That’s what the Talmud teach us, which really, if I raise myself to a higher level of consciousness, I will start meeting people like me. I will start meeting leader who can lead me to a better life. As they say in English, misery loves company. Misery cannot be alone. Misery needs a company and that’s why we can complain about the leader, but is that gonna make things better? If yes, then keep complaining. Maybe it will help. It depends on the result in the end, whatever benefit the good of everyone. If you take the country like Venezuela now, I received a lot of call in the last year from people from Venezuela. They asked me to do a video. In the video, I said nothing against anybody. I just said like what Mother Teresa used to say. Mother Teresa used to say, “People ask me to go with them, with millions of people against bad idea that exists.” She says, “I refuse to do that. If you tell me what you want me to go for, I will do it but I don’t wanna go against something. We need to find out what’s the good and what we are choosing as the good.” If you take Venezuela, it’s a terrible situation there. For many years, it’s terrible. People are suffering. But the idea if you look at the people from Venezuela, I’m talking to a lot of them. it’s for many years already that people don’t want to take initiation, just now they’re starting but for the last 20 years, people don’t take initiation about making a difference in their life. Now, it pushed the people so low that they have to find their inner core and have to work on themselves, which is good. In America right now, people that work in the stock market was scared three days ago, 1,000 point going down then, yesterday 5 point going up. People don’t feel their stability. Stability start internally, not externally. You can control the market, you can control your health, you can control everything, but first, control yourself. If I cannot control myself, why would I expect myself to control anything? Why do I wanna control people if I cannot even control my own thought, my own speech, my own action? I cannot be a leader over my body and soul, why do I wanna be the leader of the people? That’s a real question here.

S: Wow. That’s just profound stuff. When we look at somebody historically who was a great leader, they were personification of the collective consciousness, somebody like Gandhi, who helped the country non-violently become independent. He existed in large part because there was a consciousness of many, many millions of people who wanted that kind of peaceful resolution. Conversely with Hitler, he was a personification of a very negative collective consciousness. Somebody could’ve gone in and assassinated Hitler and another Hitler like person would’ve taken charge because it was the collective consciousness that Hitler represented.

E: At that time, people were suffering. No money, no job in Europe. It was a terrible time for people. It was a very bad time. When you’re awakening what we call the lack within people, with people missing things, missing money, missing thing, when a person experience what they don’t have, they’re awakening what we call judgement. They’re awakening problem. If a person are all day long busy, I don’t have money, I don’t have love, then they draw into the life chaos. But when a person take one thing they have and they keep celebrating this good thing they have and after that they can say, “Well, I still need this and that.” That’s okay. That’s why you’re drawing leaders that represent missing, represent the idea that I don’t have. Gandhi, if you look at his life, he sacrificed himself. He was willing to fast until people will stop fighting. He put himself as a sacrifice. He didn’t sacrifice his own people or other people’s money. He said, “What’s the most important thing for me? My soul, my body. I will do whatever it takes to show an example that I have much care for my country and for my people.” That’s beautiful. Now, we have to remember, in India, the concept of spirituality, self-awareness, sharing, giving, love, it’s something that’s in the roots. It exists. All that they need is a leader or be awakening other people to become leader and to lead the life at a better way. He did it and Mother Teresa did it. There’s many people who did it and it’s beautiful. Once you get people like that in our universe, we can make a difference. We don’t need a lot of them. People think you need a lot. You need a few that talk about it, that have conversation. The conversation has to be known to as many people as possible because many people are giving up, many people are going through a very hard time right now, but at the same time, people need to know that inside of them, there’s all the answer, not outside. Nobody will come and save you. People believe in Christian, Jewish, Muslim even, believe that there is a savior who’s soon gonna come to save you. The truth of the matter is what if this savior is you? What’s gonna happen now? We’re gonna have a problem. People start looking inside and say, “What do you mean me? It’s not me. I don’t want it to be me. I wanna wait for somebody to come and save me.” That’s what religion is based on. Religion is based on the outside that will come and save you. Spirituality is based on you need to save you. It’s taking a lot of responsibility when you think it’s you. Can you imagine if it’s you, how much change you’re going to make? How many people you’re gonna talk to? Mother Teresa was a messiah for her time. Gandhi was a messiah of his own time. All this people raise the consciousness and awareness of others. They’re the messiah of their time. But we want of course, to bring the consciousness, a global one, that hopefully, through that we can bring peace, we can teach people how to make a living, how to live a healthier life, how to communicate. Those things are so important. Gandhi used an example of love. That love can win it all and if people beg him even to eat, he’ll say, “I will not eat until you guys learn to get along.” That’s beautiful. That’s just beautiful and people love him. It was easier at that time. Now, if we talk about our society today, we have to mention that. How many people practice daily to send love to somebody that they can’t stand? That’s the practice. We’re all hurt by human being, by people but those people who hurt you are hurting you because they’re missing something. They’re living a lack. They’re living a void. They have a void in their life. If you pray for them to remove that void and fill it up with joy and happiness, which you actually pray for your enemy, then you’re enemy don’t wanna hurt you anymore. There’s some logic to it.

S: Yeah. I have experienced that myself very profoundly. I had this huge rift between me and my neighbour above me because he would make noise and it would disturb us anytime of the day or night. Music or loud pounding and things like that and so, I would call on a cop on him that would make things worse and then, he would get even with us and make loud sounds purposefully at 4:00AM to wake us up and then we call the cops again. It was just we were locking horns. It was horrible. It was not gonna resolve and then I got Yehuda, who we both know, gave me some advice to just send them light and I did, meaning I prayed for him. I saw him in an elevator in the building. I don’t normally run into him in person. Instead of leaving the elevator, which I would have done previously, I welcomed him in. I spoke to him and I told him, “I’m sorry I called the cops on you.” He told me he had PTSD and he turns on the music when he has anxiety attacks because that helps him cope. Just that interaction changed the whole nature of our relationship and it’s not been really much of problem anymore. It’s pretty amazing when you send somebody light, when you pray for them and it’s somebody you can’t stand, the change inside yourself is so profound. I feel so grateful to my neighbour for this. It was my choice. I chose to listen to the thought and listen to the advice that was positive and take me to the action and it worked.

E: This is great. This is great. The idea is we’re always gonna meet a situation like that. All of our life, it has to be this way because that’s the only way that we can grow. Meeting perfect people will not make us grow. Meeting perfect situation will not make us grow. All those perfect things that we go to in our life, it’s mostly, basically, a rewarding for the time that wasn’t that perfect and we were able to maintain ourselves in the right consciousness. The only way you can grow is to go through some non-perfect situation in a way.

S: Yeah. I think to take a new form of responsibility instead of just being duty and obligation, and what you’re supposed to do,or the minimum of what you need to do. That you just step up and act as if you are the saviour of your time and of your people. That if it’s not you, then who? If it’s not now, then when?

E: I like this verse that’s from the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot, lessons of the Father. That’s where it’s from. I like what you just said.

S: Oh, nice.

E: Yeah. It’s from the Mishnah from 2000 years ago. It’s beautiful. It’s from Pirkei Avot. Pirkei Avot means the lessons of our Father. It’s great book by the way. It’s a great book. Lessons of our Father.

S: I’ll include a link in the show notes for this episode to that. If we’re experiencing a lack or a void and that awakens judgement, doesn’t it also awaken more lack and more void? Doesn’t it attract more voids in other areas like let’s say you have a lack or a void in your relationship? Could it bring financial void and financial chaos to you and in your business, in your workplace, in your other relationships?

E: That can happen. The void itself is basically when I experienced I don’t have something and I have two choices. In 2007, when real estate collapsed, people were divided into two group. The group that became humble and smarter after becoming humble and the group that became victim, upset, angry, not forgiving. When we experienced a lack of void and missing something, at that moment, we have a choice. What can I do about it? If what can I do about it is to sit and cry for all the things that I used to have and I don’t have it now, then I will have to by nature as the greatest book, I think, of all time is called The Secret by a lot of writers together, like attract like. That’s the rule. That’s the situation. That’s how it works. We’re attracting the wrong people, the wrong situation. That’s why business starts to go bad. That’s why health starts to go bad. Not because we’ve been punished, it’s because that’s what we chose. That’s actually what we want. It’s not that we don’t want it by saying, “How come I don’t have enough money?” The angel no money or I don’t have and that’s what continues to be the situation. I didn’t meet a lot of people who sit and ask themselves after they make a great business deal, “How come I made $1 million? I deserve only $10,000. What’s going on here?” You don’t need those kinds of complains. People don’t complain, “How come I am married to my soulmate? Other people are not married to their soulmate. What’s wrong here?” I don’t hear people say that either. “How come I’m so healthy? Other people are not healthy.” People are not busy with exploring their fulfilment because the normal behaviour of us in this life, once you have a void, you have a desire for more. Once you have a desire for more, you fill it up. Spiritual people say, “The fulfilment is already here. Now, let’s find a way to get it.” Not the other way around. Once I develop a desire, I’m gonna have a fulfilment. Very simple. It’s like when you go shopping for clothing, the clothing is already there in the store, it’s being created, so the fulfilment is there. You gotta create a desire for it and through that, have the fulfilment of the clothing. I’m just using that metaphor to explain a different level of consciousness. I hope it was clear.

S: Yeah, it is. For me at least. I hope it is for our listeners. This reminds me about the time I’m complaining. A friend of mine, Ephraim Olschewski, who’s actually a past guest on this show, he goes to his kids when they’re arguing or they’re having a tantrum about something or whatever, he’s like, “Are you creating or are you complaining?” That’s the question he asks his child. So powerful. Are you creating or are you complaining because if you’re complaining you’re not creating anything, you’re just focusing on the negative. He would coach his little kid to start creating instead. He was in his car driving and his wife is in the car. His son was starting to complain, “I left my iPad. I need my iPad.” Because they were going to the gym and he’d be bored if he didn’t have an iPad when his parents work out. He was starting to get really upset because they couldn’t turn around and they’re almost there to the gym by the time he realized it. He turns to his son and says, “Are you creating or are you complaining?” He’s helping his son out a little bit by holding his phone in his hand very obviously and he’s like, “Are you creating or are you complaining?” His son is looking at the phone. He’s like, “Dad, can I borrow your phone and use that for the time we’re at the gym?” He’s like, “Sure. That sounds like a great idea.” Very, very powerful and I know this concept from Kabbalah. When you create negative words out of your negative thoughts, you create negative angels or something along those lines. Can you elaborate a bit on that?

E: There are many kinds of angel. There’s the angel that existed since the universe existed. It was created by the divine. And there’s the angel that’s created by our action, talk, and thought. To create a complete angel, while the person talk and do,and think, that’s called a perfect angel. That means the angel is made from the right consciousness, the right talk, and the right action. What if the action was good but you didn’t really mean it? Then, this angel would be half good and half bad. Unfortunately, that angel, after that start advising us and when the angel start advising us, it would advise us half the truth and half a lie. Every time that we talk negative thing, we’re creating something. We bring an entity into existence. We gotta be careful. People cannot just curse because it’s fun. We got to be careful with the words. We spoke about it before. You cannot just think about whatever bother you. Of course, the action, that’s obvious that every action, positive or negative, create a metaphysical power and we call it angel. What is really angel? If we understand angel in Kabbalistic point of view, the word angel and evil is [inaudible 00:33:03], when you add the letters and you put together, you get the number 91. 91 in Kabbalistic wisdom, it’s a very powerful number. It’s also the amount of days in the season, but 91 is a combination of the two aspect of the divine, the male and the female. The angel basically connects us from the upper to the lower, from the lower to the upper, meaning it’s bringing all the levels of consciousness from above and all what we do from above al what we do from below to above. That’s why people usually describe an angel that look like a bird, that it has wings. Where did they come up with the idea of the wings because the angel goes fast from one chamber to another, from one level of consciousness to another like a bird. For that reason, the Kabbalist 500 years ago by the name of Rabbi Isaac Luria explains that there are different kinds of birds that through them, the message of what we call angels can either talk if the bird is chirping or if they’re mute bird then, the flapping of the wings, that’s what allow our prayer, and meditation, and words to go up and down, which for me is fascinating. Every time when I look at birds, I say, “Wow, those are all helping the angel to elevate my prayer or to bring back the message to our level.” That shows a version of what is angel.

S: Right. That’s very cool. I know that numerology is an important part of Kabbalah so the number 91 is a powerful number and there are different days of the year that have positive energy. There are different days of the year that have negative energy and by being aware of this ebb and flow of energy and positive and negative, you can kind of step in to that flow of positivity and step out to the flow of negativity. I wanna go over this concept here. Initially, before I understood it, I had just heard about it. I thought, “Wow, this is really superstitious and silly. It’s the evil eye.” But then, as I understood it more from a metaphysical level, I can see  how there can be real truth to it. Can you describe this because in Judaism, this is not unusual to come up.

E: The basic explanation of evil eye is somebody who’s jealous from another person, from the domain, the money, the property, health, children, wife, husband, cars, different things that we have and they don’t. Evil eyes is a little bit more than jealousy  of one person because you have and they don’t can hurt you. That’s why people usually have a hard time to agree with that. How can somebody hurt me just by looking at what I have and me not having it make them angry? It doesn’t make any sense at all. For that reason, I have to bring up two books. One book is called the Talmud. It’s a book of laws and many lawyers are using it. Then, there is the book of The Zohar, which is the book of the mystical meaning of the Bible. The Talmud write that about 98% of the people die before their time, die from evil eye. That percent is high. That percent is scary. Of course, how can we prove that it’s true? I’m not sure I can but I can share with you what the book said. The Talmud explains that when a person go to pay respect for somebody who die in a cemetery and people seeing him quite healthy, or quite rich, or quite beautiful, whatever the gift that he has, at that moment, he put his life in risk. Why? Because they say they talk about their husband, or the wife who die, or children, God forbid, or somebody and when they look at that person, they can, it doesn’t mean it always happens, from a jealousy point of view, to their eye, the eye has a very powerful power, when we look at things, whatever we look at become us. I’ll give you a few example. People going on a highway, there is a bad accident they’re looking. It’s written when you look, power of the negative energy from the accident going through your soul. That’s our  registration. More than that, a man is going to nice places and he looks at girls that are beautiful. At that night, he’s with his wife physically, sexually. A lot of what he looked at that daytime become part of the intercourse with his wife, which register in the man brain. Through the man brain, through the spine, without going through a thousand details and through the ejaculation through the sperm, within the sperm, there is a registration of all the event that he looked at at that day, whenever he went to the beach in Miami, or wherever he was. How is that connecting us to evil eye? When people look at us, they register their eyes on us. The Zohar explains that it was a man in Syria, in Aleppo, Syria, that his evil eye was so bad that if somebody we’ll be next to them, the person can get hurt immediately. He will become sick on the spot. Today, hopefully, we don’t have that kind of evil eye ability, thank God. But people sometimes can get jealous. How do we know people just get jealous? When they start counting what they have. This is a secret I want to give to everybody. When people start counting how many cars you have, how many TVs, how many kids, how many home, the ‘how many’ question create evil eye because the ‘how many’ put a limitation on your domain and when there is a limitation in your domain, there is an angel, you can call it an angel or an entity, that starts counting if everything that you have you deserve. They are awakening the judgement on the person they’re jealous from. Again, this is the best I can give in 5 to 10 minutes explanation. I hope that makes it clear.

S: Yeah, that’s great. I think it makes sense actually. I’m a very scientific person and yet, I do believe that people can pass you blessings, like through prayer, so why not the opposite? If people see you with envy and jealousy and from a place of lack and they want what you have and they don’t see this as a win-win, it’s a spiritual game where everybody can win. If you have it and I don’t, I want what you have. I wanna take it. I could see how that would create negative angels or negative energy on a metaphysical level. Powerful. Actually, before we switch topics of this negative energy and how to elevate your consciousness, we talked about evil eye, I wanna talk about evil speech briefly and then we’ll move on into happier topics.

E: What do you wanna know about evil speech?

S: Well, what is it? How do you avoid giving this evil speech to others? I’m just gonna speak for myself. I can be very unintentional with my words sometimes and I don’t think I’m alone on that. I can inadvertently create evil speech, which has profound spiritual and metaphysical implications.

E: Evil speech is when you tell the truth, which is a negative truth about another person to another human being and other human being has no benefit from it at all. Example, people going to a wedding. They know that the bride’s ex-boyfriend was a terrible criminal, but she’s in the middle of a wedding. They’re sitting in a table and they say, ‘I wanna tell you that this woman who is just getting married to this nice man, the last relationship was with a bad person.” Nobody benefits from that, nobody, so why saying it? Because we want to tell the truth and it’s an evil truth. That’s called an evil speech. It’s not when you lie, it’s only that what you say is the truth and it’s negative and nobody benefits from it. Why is it such a big deal? Few reasons, metaphysically, the first creature that spoke evil was the snake in the Bible. The snake approached Eve first and convinced her that God doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He put it in such a way that it’s quite convincing. What do we learn from that? Every time you connect to evil speech, you connect to the snake so it cannot go good. Saying a lie, which is negative about someone is not consider evil speech major, it’s a minor, but it’s still bad. When you speak lies about someone and its negative, it’s not as bad when you tell the truth when it’s negative and it’s for no reason. Evil speech is one of the things that we all do unfortunately and we’re all sin in that. It’s difficult to avoid because once you’re doing that, you get some respect from society. It’s almost like  let me tell you the new bad news about that person. There are so many TV show now on that. You have the TMZ. You have the Page Six now on TV. You have The Gossip Show. People are almost addicted to gossiping. They can’t see themselves without it. The entire news, the entire media is how can I speak negative truth about another person and through that, people will respect me. For that reason, The Talmud, The Zohar, The Book of the Law, [inaudible 00:46:31], the book of the Jewish Law that when you do evil speech, you kill people, you kill the one you spoke about, you kill yourself, and you kill the one who listened to your evil speech. Three people die every time you speak evil speech. I’m sorry to say it.

S: Wow. We need to be very careful with our words and really, before we share something interesting about somebody else, we should ask ourselves, “What’s my intention in sharing this?”

E: These books will tell you what negative things you can say and what not you can say. It’s written by a Kabbalist or a Rabbi named [inaudible 00:47:18]. He dedicated his entire life, from the moment he was born, to just write about this subject. All that he wrote was only one subject his entire life. That’s it. Nothing else. He only talked about it. He explained that if human will get to a place that they don’t speak bad about another, it will be no more problem, no more disaster, no issue because he said that words that left your mouths are not in your domain. They’re not in your control. When it was inside of your thought, inside of your mouth, it’s still in your control. When you give those words away, you give control away. You give control away of your business, of your life, of your relationship, of your health. It’s a very profound subject.

S: That gets me to another point, which I think, for me, has been one of the cornerstones of my spiritual development in recent years from Kabbalah and it’s just so beautiful. That’s restriction. When you are feeling reactive but you haven’t reacted yet before the words have left your mouth, before the negative action has occurred, you have a choice. You have your free will. If you can restrict, if you choose to restrict, you reveal light and you’re a model of wonderful behaviour for others and it’s just a beautiful thing. If it’s not a negative situation, a challenge that you’re in and you’re trying to reign in your reactivity but instead you’re trying to be a better person and reveal more light without any kind of prodding, you’re just internally motivated to restrict and reveal light then you also are this model citizen for others and you are spreading your light to others. You’re like this pebble in the pond that has impact over the entire lake, over the entire pond. Could you describe restriction from a Kabbalistic perspective?

E: Yeah, sure. It’s funny you’re asking that because I just developed, I told you before, that concept called the Kabbalah Gym and I ate something else to restriction. I gave that course in Miami, and in New York, and I’m gonna give it to you this Thursday. It’s what I explain that there are three levels of what people call of restrictions. The restriction was designed to give us some time to not be reactive, which is a concept that many spiritual group use all over the world. The five seconds rule. The one minute rule. Wait until it will pass.

S: Take a time-out.

E: It’s a time-out. What I found out when I was working in a Rehab in Florida, I was a volunteer in a Rehab for two years. I found out something that people do what I called the wrong restrictions. I gave it a name. It’s called suppression. Suppression is you want the storm to pass, meaning you are not doing it now, but you’re waiting for the right time to do it. I’ll give an example. I try to eat healthy. I’ve been pretty good. This Sunday it was Super Bowl so my son invited a lot of friends and it was pizza in the house. I’m looking at the pizza, the pizza looked at me. Why not? It has been a long time without it. What’s the big deal? I’m telling you, once I was chewing it, it felt like a rubber. It doesn’t even go in. nothing. It’s stuck next to my heart.That’s how bad it was. Suppression is a fake restriction, meaning that you are suppressing your desire. It’s almost like a beach ball. You push it under the water for a certain amount of time, eventually, it will come to the surface. The second thing is restriction. Restriction means that I’m able to say no to the things which are negative for me. It could be a talk. It could be an action. It could be a thought, whatever I’m thinking about. That capability of not letting the universe control me and I control the universe, it’s the greatest thing ever. But look what I found out. After 28 years of teaching this wisdom, I discovered that when people do restriction, they’re doing a great job. They’re able to transform themselves, but, again, this is my understanding, they might be a little bit too busy with themselves. I ate something to the growth level. I say, “After you finish finish doing restriction, comes the level that’s called transformation through the reflection on others.” Meaning the change has to be a way that it’s not only you that change, that you’ve become a better person, that you changed and others become better because you changed. I’ll give you an example. If a person stopped using drugs in a suppression way, he would have to go back to use drugs. Restriction, he will never use drugs again but it doesn’t mean that he changed. He’s just drug free, or addiction free, but he didn’t change. Transformation with the reflection on others, which is the third level that I just came up with when I’m doing the Kabbalah Gym, I realized people will start checking themselves spiritually to find out if by me avoiding sugar, or flour, or bad temper, anger, bad speech, jealousy, if all what I’m working on myself affect other human being, then I know I’m doing it the right way. If it’s just affecting me, it’s still good, but you separate yourself from the group and you become better and the group become not as good as you are and that’s a lot of place for judgement. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you this before, but I just wanna mention this three levels of change as we talk about restriction. I hope it’s clear.

S: Yeah, that’s amazing. Let me give you a quick example of how this has impacted my life. It’s just been very profound. I stopped eating desserts and really restricted my sugar intake drastically over the last almost three years now. If you would have told me or if you’ve told anybody that who knows me that I would be stopping sugar, they would have thought that’s crazy. Stephan is a sugarholic. There is no way he will ever stop sugar. I used to eat more candy and junk food than imaginable. It was really, really bad. I started by suppressing. When I went to this workshop that I mentioned that Ephraim Olschewski earlier in this episode, he’s the friend who was a past guest on the show and taught his child about difference between complaining or creating. I was at his workshop and I got this motivation, this inspiration to finally quit sugar. I had about two weeks of cheating all over the place and then my wife, Ryan, did the challenge of stopping sugar with me and my youngest daughter. We’re in this sugar challenge together. My wife was the leader. I was cheating here and there and my daughter was cheating all over the place like she would send pictures on text message of her eating huge ice creams and stuff. I’m like, “Well, this day didn’t work out.” But I was still suppressing. It felt I was losing energy. It felt bad when I saw cupcakes or whatever and I stop myself from buying them. But then, after two weeks, my wife’s like, “Okay, we’re done and I’m not gonna do it again. You guys are cheaters. You do whatever you want but I’m gonna take care of myself.” I would go to my daughter, I’m like, “Do you wanna do another week of the sugar challenge?” She’s like, “Sure. Yeah, I’ll do it.” I became the leader. I became the inspiration for her. I didn’t make the connection of why I suddenly switched into restriction that it was about inspiring others or affecting others with my restricting behaviour. I just knew that my motivation was different, that I wanted to be a model for her. I stopped and it stuck. It’s been amazing and I feel powerful by saying no to desserts. I don’t feel a lack. I don’t feel, “My wife is having a chocolate cake or whatever for dessert at a restaurant. I’m fine with not having any and saying no to the desserts except I’ll have dessert on my birthday, and in major holidays.” I’m an abstainer, not a moderator. I cannot say, “I’ll just have a little bit.” I’ll eat the whole bag. I’ll eat the whole cake or whatever. I’ve got to restrict completely and say there’s no grey area, no sugar, no dessert, none of it, no candy, etc. except on certain days.

E: What’s beautiful about your story is that you relate to what I add after restriction, which is how it’s reflecting on others. I know many spiritual people are doing restriction but then, they become lonely, alone, by themselves, because they just work on themselves and they become like guru type on a mountain, avoiding people. That’s why the Talmud write check their reflection on others of your spiritual change. If you change and there’s nothing to reflect on others, meaning a lot of people has stop addiction, but you did it beautifully with your daughter, with a lot of kindness and working together with your wife. You did it with reflecting on others. I know and I think you know a lot of people do restriction, but they’re not related to another human being. They are busy doing their restriction. This is what I wanna mention when I hear that, to be careful not to just be stuck with your restrictions. That’s why I add to my new course of Kabbalah, to the Kabbalah Gym, that aspect, which I call it transformation to the reflection on others. The reflection on others will show you what happened or what didn’t.

S: It is very, very important. This higher level of restriction for me, this was an evolution in my understanding on restriction, to realize that it’s not just about avoiding something that is a short term pleasure but a long term lost or detriment, like sugar, or unhealthy foods, or whatever. It’s also about behaviours that affect other people in a negative way, or annoying way, or whatever. For example, I get off of podcast interviews and then I go bother Ryan right afterwards. Whatever she’s doing, I’ll go into her room where she’s working and I’m like, “So what’s up?” It was unconscious. It didn’t even occur to me that she might even in a flow state, like in the middle of something really cranking out something amazing and I’m like, “Hey, what’s up?”  Now, I recognize this is another opportunity for me to restrict and I stop before I open that door. I think, “Oh, wait a second.” Now, I don’t even go to the door anymore because I know that I need to be more reflective of my behaviour and what I’m doing. Yeah, I’m excited I got off a really awesome interview, like this one. I’d go interrupt her right afterwards, “Oh, guess what I talked about in this interview.” But that’s an opportunity to restrict. I think this is our secret weapon. It’s not really a weapon, it’s just this way to reveal so much light. It’s just by restricting all over the place. If we can inspire others by that, like her behaviour has been affected too, not just she feels safer with her work that she’s not gonna get interrupted and she appreciates that, but I’m sure that she sees that my behaviour is an inspiration for to exhibit restricting behaviours in herself too.

E:  What’s beautiful, again, I wanna repeat, is the reflection on others because once we become away from human, away from people then, we’re missing the whole point because this universe was designed for us to work together. That’s why I believe that it’s important.

S: Yeah, very much so. We’re out of time. This was wonderful. I gotta have you back. If you’re game, I’ll have another episode. Where do I send our listeners to learn more about this ancient wisdom of Kabbalah, your courses, the Kabbalah Gym and so forth? Where should they go online for that?

E: It’s a large name. It’s called vitaltransformation.org or you can just write vt1.org. There is a great book on Amazon for those of you who wanna start working on yourself. It’s called The Finding God Workbook. It’s just a workbook that gives you, every week, to work on one thing at a time. Beside that, this Thursday, I’m excited to say whoever is in LA, 8:00AM on Crest, 1471 Crest. It’ll be amazing to see you, where we’ll do 6 hours of consciousness, starting every Thursday for 1 hour. I think that would be great.

S: Awesome. If you are in the LA area, this is an amazing opportunity. But even if you’re not, you can learn so much from Eliyahu Jian via online courses that he teaches on his Vital Transformation website. Thank you so, so much, Eliyahu.

E: Thank you for including me. Thank you so much for including me. I appreciate that.

S: I appreciate you. You’ve been just this amazing force for good and inspiration in my life. I really appreciate you.

E: Thank you.

S: Alright. Thank you, listeners as well for listening and for really taking on board these ideas with an open heart and open mind. Now, it’s time to take action so go on to the website for this podcast optimizedgeek.com and download the transcript, the show notes, and also the checklist of actions to take from this episode. We go to a lot of trouble, me and my team, every week, to produce not just a wonderful episode, but also the checklist of actions to take. Action is where the rubber meets the road so please do take advantage of that wonderful opportunity and we’ll see you on the next episode of The Optimized Geek. This is your host, Stephan Spencer, signing off.