S: In this episode, number 121, we’re going to break you through your financial glass ceiling. What’s been holding you back? Well, here’s a hint, it’s between your two ears. Our guest today is best selling author and sought after speaker Kate Beeders. She’s the creator of The Money Acceleration System and founder of Brilliance Builders. Kate, it’s great to have you on the show.
K: Thank you, Stephan. I’m really happy to be here. It’s actually a beautiful Boston day so I’m sending you sunshine from Boston to California, to West Coast.
S: We got sunshine to spare, we’re good over here, but thank you. We met at JVX, Joint Venture Experience, Rich German’s event. Rich was on the podcast here a while ago, it’s a great episode. And we keep bumping into each other. I think last time we saw each other was at Traffic & Conversion Summit. Is it there?
S: Or where did I see you?
K: I don’t know. I’m trying to remember, I wasn’t at that but yeah, we met. I was privileged, I was their sole keynote at the event. It’s really quite an honor to come off from Boston, to speak to 350 to 375 entrepreneurs and teach some of the stuff we’re going to talk about today. I’m really happy to be here with you and share information.
S: Awesome. Let’s create some transformations for folks.
S: You have this concept of breaking through your financial glass ceiling. What does that mean exactly?
K: I talk about money a lot,Stephan, but understand that people can replace the word money for any other area in their life that they’re really looking to change. It really starts with your own paradigm, your own world, your inner glass ceiling, the limitations that any of us have set on ourselves, that’s really what I teach. How to create a life in business that you really desire, that excites you, and makes you feel good and happy, and how to breakthrough all that. It started at a really early age, a lot of my beliefs, I used to watch the TV show Bewitched, I don’t know if you ever saw that?
S: Oh yeah. I love that show.
K: Yeah, me too. I used to watch the reruns when I was younger and I love Samantha, I walk around the house, I wiggle my nose because I loved how Samantha would do it and magically the house would get cleaned or a car would show up or a dress would show up, whatever she wanted to show up. I thought when I was younger that when I grew up, I would get to be her. One of the reasons I did is, my mom’s uncle actually created the TV show so I thought I was genetically inclined to have that super power. What I actually learned instead is just that the universe is just full of abundance and there really are no limits. It’s a process to have what you want and you have to start with creating that intention of what is it that you really want. I really teach people, because I did it my own life, even just the example, how cool was it I got to be a sole main stage speaker at this big, huge event. It was an intention I set. It’s learning how to do that over and over, over getting in one’s life whether it’s something big or something small.
S: How do you create intention? How do you set yourself up for that kind of level of success? Do you do affirmations or are you journaling, are you doing guided visualizations? How do you create that powerful intention?
K: To answer your question, I have done all those things. I’m always changing and shifting as to what works with me probably because as I up level, I find I get a different experience or better experience from other things as I keep getting to that next level. I tell people how I used to start with affirmations. I’d write them a whole bunch, and I didn’t get results. And I’m like, what the heck? And then I write them more. Then people said, no you have to write a couple hundred times a day, you can’t just copy and paste on the computer, you have to hand write it because the whole hand-mind connection thing. I just figured the universe could read my handwriting because they were never coming true for me. What was going on for me personally with affirmations is that there are just too many blocks in the way. The affirmations just didn’t know how to cut through it. For me, I am an expert in tapping, so I use tapping. I love also creating power statements. For me, I have a lot of clarity on certain things of what I want to create my life and really how I wanted to feel. Something I learned from one of my mentors years ago is always keep asking myself like, does this honor me? That’s part of me always moving forward because, as we all know, let’s say to grow your business or have more abundance whatever, there are so many different things you can do in your life and I really set the parameters that everything has to honor me, otherwise I don’t want to waste my time, I don’t want to do it even though it could potentially give me great results. That’s really how I start off with that voice that I want to create. For me, so much of it has really been, Stephan, to get my message out to so many people and shift people. Because the way I’m able to teach it, I have people telling me that here, what they heard, they hear it differently and they tell me that after they get on the phone and they call their partners up, and say, guess what I learned and just shifts and changes are just happening like crazy. Part of my intention is to be able to share it with these many people. That’s what I do.
S: I’m a big fan of tapping as well. Also known as EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique. I actually had Fred Gallo, who’s an amazing expert on tapping on the show, episode number 53, listeners, definitely check that episode out. Fred had a huge impact on me, I was able to really reduce my fear of heights and of water. I had one 45 minute tapping session with him and it stuck. It really did stick, it was amazing and I was able to go shark diving and micro gliding, which is a hand glider with a motor attached. Micro glided into the mist above Victoria Falls in Zambia. I would never have done that if I hadn’t had done tapping. A big, big fan. And then you also mentioned power statements and positive focus, can you elaborate a bit on that?
K: Positive focus, I was always a big proponent of gratitude. I recently switched to what I really feel good about, what makes me happy, and that’s what I focus more on than gratitude. I think it’s so important to acknowledge the good things that are happening, but gratitude, it just started not having the same impact, everything is energy. I’m not saying if you’re doing it and you’d love it, I’m just saying my message to you is not do it. I’m just saying for me, personally, I wasn’t feeling the same after a certain point. When I switched to what I’m feeling really good about, what’s positive, things like what’s made me really happy during the day, and when I list those things, for me, at least for where I am in my life right now, I find it much more of a powerful experience. That’s really what it’s all about. There are so many different things, like you said, million different people out there doing this, that, the other thing, and it’s really about finding where you get the best results, what resonates with you the most, where it leads the most impact. Because I’ve been on this journey for quite a while, I find that certain things now have more power than other things. That’s just part of the journey. The other thing that I use is power statements and I personally like those better than a lot of the affirmations. For me, again, just where I am right now, affirmations very often, because it’s something, someone might say I easily make $50,000 each and every month. If somebody is at $1,000 a month, that’s so far away, that even that’s a really great affirmation, that there is so many blocks that pop up in between, that I prefer power statements which is one thing I really, really teach, Stephan, is really about teaching people how to be grounded. To me that’s where all the power is, because when you’re grounded, whether something good happens to you or let’s say one thing I’m teaching is sales conversations, I teach them a lot. Let’s say whether somebody, a prospect says yes to you, a prospect says no to you, that you don’t feel less than because they said no. Where so many people, somebody says no, they made an offer or an invitation and they got ‘rejected’ that they start thinking they’re not good enough, maybe they think their pricing is too high, maybe they think that there’s too much competition, all the things that they go into that place of self doubt that I look for things that really help ground me as well as the clients I work with, things to help ground us. Whether you get yeses or whether you get nos, you don’t get knocked over. It’s like there’s a tree outside my condominium and I look at it all the time, and in Boston, we’ve got all the four seasons, we’ve got rain, snow, and sleet, blizzards, and hot weather. We pretty much have so many different things here and yet this tree is always there. It may change a little bit, different seasons, it may lose some of the leaves, maybe some of the leaves turn red, would fall and all that, and some may fall off. Occasionally, some branches may fall off in really inclement weather, but for most part, that tree is there. The roots don’t go anywhere, the tree just stays there. That’s part of the work I do with my clients as well as my own work of just being grounded. I look for things that keep me grounded, whether the thing happens to me or doesn’t. Because it’s also understanding whether it’s a whole other subject or a whole other show about whether you’ve manifested or manifesting and understanding that process. Where so many people get caught up saying, oops, I’ve manifested, it’s not going to happen and they move on, whereas I believe that you’re still a process of manifesting.
S: Yeah, maybe we’ll have time to drill into that a bit more about manifesting. I’m curious with regards to teaching sales conversations. What do you teach people about, how to negotiate, or how to show up powerfully, or how to overcome objections? What insights do you provide in that area?
K: I teach all that and more. Just a little bit about my background, before I became an entrepreneur, I was in corporate for about 16, 18 years and I did business devolvement. When I first started out, I was given a list of nothing, Stephan. I had to basically go out and find clients. I had to turn nothing into multi, multimillion dollar clients. Over the years, these people worked with me over and over again, I got referrals, they became long term clients. And then that process of corporate, I had to learn first of all where do I find them, who is my ideal client, how do I work with them, how do I deal with objections, how do we get referrals, repeat business and all that stuff. As an entrepreneur, you experience the same thing that typically you’re not given a list, you have something you become really passionate and excited about but the problem is then of course, monetizing it. What I teach and I do this both with my private clients as well as my event that I have conversations to clients life, I teach the traditional things of my own process of what you say and all that but I take it a whole lot deeper. Even though I teach people a script, and also teach them what’s going on behind the scenes. Because I believe that you have to deal with your own stuff first. For example, if the product sales and sales conversations makes you feel icky, you’re not going to be successful in the sales conversation. You’ve got to be able to work through that. That’s part of what I teach. I also teach overcoming objections but not just the client’s objections because we all know what they are, money, time, I’ve got to ask somebody, and can you really help me? Those are the big objections. But the thing is that unless you’re able to overcome your own objections, in fact I was teaching this to a group yesterday, you can’t overcome anyone else’s. When someone says to you I don’t have the time right now, and you get what it’s like to not have the time, you can help overcome that objection because you’re too attached to that story. Another thing I teach is really how to release those internal objections, so then you can help somebody that you’re truly meant to help and help them and guide them and walk them through their own objections.
S: Interesting. What would be an example of an internal objection that you had to work through yourself?
K: One objection I had, which is a really big one for a lot of people, is trust. Can you really help me?
S: And how did you overcome that?
K: I worked with my coach and we did tapping.
K: Quite honestly, because I was going like okay, I hear this and I hear that but can you really help me? Because we all tend to think we’re unique individuals, and even though someone could go look at my page for examples and see I’ve got a zillion pages of success stories but okay that’s great, you’ve helped all these hundreds and hundreds and hundreds if not thousands of people, but can you really help me? I absolutely had that and I worked with my coach because otherwise it was holding me back. I was able to work through that, then I can help all my other clients. Another big one was money. We all get that objection that someone says they don’t have the money, they’re on the budget, etc. The fact that very early in my business, I took so many risks investing the little money I had when I first started out to go to events, to hire mentors, that I personally lived it that I had absolutely no problem challenging somebody on a financial objection. But I haven’t done that, if I always played it safe and only invested when I had the money, I would never be able to do that.
S: Yup. Makes sense.
K: And the other piece of this that I also teach, this is all part of what I teach at the event but I work with all my clients on it too is also the money piece. Because I’m sure you’ve heard this too, whether it’s somebody in a live event, whether it’s a webinar, whether it’s in person where you’re really great with the conversation then all of a sudden someone says, how much is it? Or if they’ve got to announce it and their voice changes. Or else they talk real fast or they give it away or they do trades or they do discounts. I help people also become aligned with the money piece. Because if they feel deep down that they’re not worth it, if they feel that they can’t charge that much, whatever it might be, that they’re not going to be able to charge with their worth, it’s just impossible for them.
S: Impostor Syndrome can play in here if somebody has that where they feel like they’re a fraud or they’re going to be found out as not as not being the real deal.
S: That’ll throw a wrench into the works, for sure.
K: Exactly, exactly. The thing here is that I teach it both inside and outside when I’m teaching sales. People have to be comfortable of all that. And there’s also the other piece that I also teach is what I call the good news/bad news. This was big when I was in corporate, because we use the word chase after this multi, multi, multimillion dollar deals. Sometimes this whole process would last a couple of years. Stephan, we’d have this expression, the good news is I got the client, the bad news is I got the client. Because all of a sudden we go like, sh**, now we have to work with this person. A lot of my clients say that to me that they’ll be holding strategy sessions or discovery sessions of people really eager to work with the client but is the clients telling them all their issues. There’s this thing, there’s that thing. Of course if they feel comfortable, there’s a whole list of them that a lot of my clients would tell me that their whole confidence goes down like uh oh, I don’t know if I really even want this person because look at all the stuff they have. I’m really good but I’m definitely no miracle worker. Things like that can sabotage the whole sales process.
S: Right. How do you fix that issue?
K: Personally, it’s learning in a lot of the conversation to be able to set boundaries of what you’re capable of and not capable of because a lot of people do make false promises that they can help everybody do everything. Part of it is learning to speak your truth as a remark. I really love that the Staples where I get all my supplies at, they use and my contact at this particular Staples uses. It’s not a national thing but just this one guy uses and he says that what he does is he under promises and over delivers. I love that. That’s become my motto in my business as opposed to saying yup, I can do anything and help everybody with everything. It’s like no, I know what I’m really, really good at and that’s what I teach my clients, to really be comfortable saying that’s something that’s not what I focus on. It’s things like that, being able to share that, it’s also being able to set boundaries of how you’re willing to work with the person and all that and making it clear so the person gets that too.
S: That reminds me of an episode on my other show on Marketing Speak where I interviewed Marcus Sheridan, The Sales Lion, and he talked about having a page on your site, Who We’re Not A Fit For. For people who are a fit, then they get even more excited, like no, no, no, I don’t fit any of those bad criteria. I’m in. I’m really excited that I can make a difference here in my business by working with you. It increases alignment. As you said, it’s a great boundary setting device to say I’m not a fit for everybody.
K: Exactly, and it’s also being realistic too and acknowledging that you’re not necessarily a miracle worker. If someone come to you with 22 problems, you can’t necessarily fix 22 problems in one hour.
K: A lot of people are afraid to say things like that. Really, it’s a confidence muscle that it doesn’t happen to someone like that for a second but I work with people like one woman for example, she actually worked for Fortune 50 or Fortune 100 company in sales and she was phenomenal at her job, she als started her own coaching business a couple of years earlier but even though she was wonderful in sales, getting clients for her company, she just couldn’t do it on her own. As I was able to help her shift, within about a month and a half, boom! She was like I got this client, and I got this client, but it’s a muscle that people have to acquire. It’s learning about how to take it step by step so you become more confident and then are ultimately being able to enroll all your ideal clients.
S: What do you think it was for her that made the biggest difference, that made the shift for her?
K: One of her big things was that issue I just mentioned that people are sharing all their things and she was like, hey, I can’t help them with everything. I really helped work through that to be able to be quite honest with the clients about what expectations to set, what’s realistic, what she can help them with and what she can’t. As she realized that she could do that without ‘ruining’ the sales conversation, that it will start shifting and it started empowering her more to be able to just really speak up and own who she was.
S: Wasn’t so much that the words were more aligned, was more her energy and her excitement and so forth was greater because she felt the alignment.
K: It was actually a combination of both. Because I have so much sales background, I do help my clients. I will tell them like, you gotta do it when you speak, this is how Kate talks, do it how Stephan talks or whatever because clients are from different parts of the world and all that. But I did help her with some of the verbiage but also to tapping, we also worked on releasing some fears around it, fears of not being liked, fears of ruining the sale or losing the sale, fears of not being able to be that super healer, helper, miracle worker. We did a lot of tapping around that as well as giving her some practical action and strategies of how to do that during the conversation.
S: Right. Did she have a problem with feeling worthy for I know this might a little too personal, so feel free to not answer but was it partially a money thermostat issue, like oh I don’t know I should be making that much money off of one client or maybe I’m not a seven figure earner.
K: For her, that was not. I have had that with other clients, but that was not her specific issue. But a lot of my clients feel very uncomfortable. One client said to me, we’re talking about what to charge and she’s like, but Kate, my lawyer doesn’t charge that much money. I said, if your lawyer worked with me, your lawyer could learn how to charge that much. A big piece of the work I do with my clients is all around money, what money actually means, what their money story is. Because money is just energy, it just represents, as you said, it’s an outcome but yeah, people give it so much power. As they’re able to learn to work through that, that also shifts what the whole conversation is like.
S: Yeah. I agree money is energy. It’s a way to exchange value in between two parties. If you don’t respect money that you maybe find in the street or whatever, then that repels that energy in other areas of your life. Let’s say you don’t bother to pick up a quarter on the ground, or a penny, I can’t be bothered, you step on it, you’re disrespecting the energy just the size of the vessel is different, the quality of the energy is the same. It’s like the light of the creator in that penny and same quality of that energy is in a million dollars, it’s just the size of the vessel is different. I’m very much on board with that idea of money is energy.
K: Yeah. Absolutely, Stephan. It’s also to the other piece of it to is that people stories. What they heard as a child also comes into play about why they do or they don’t pick up that penny.
S: Yeah. What would be some example of money stories that people have picked up as kids?
K: One of my clients, she had a business about five years old when she started working with me. She did marketing and couldn’t figure out why she couldn’t cross over six figures. Her clients loved her work, it wasn’t that there was a problem with her work, but every time she’d get client, she’d end up losing a client. She just couldn’t cross over that next level, Stephan, and couldn’t figure out. We started working together and what she shared with me is that she happened to have a younger brother. I’ll just call him Joey. Joey was handicapped. She is the oldest sister. He was not horribly handicapped but he was still handicapped enough that it slowed him down compared to her. Growing up, her parents are always saying, “Wait for Joey.” “Where is Joey?” “Did Joey get some?” “Did you take care of Joey?” “Are you watching out for Joey?” “Let Joey get his.” Always making sure Joey got taken care of. So here she is, fast forward years later, she’s in her 40s, her brother’s also in his 40s. She’s an entrepreneur, turns out her brother’s also an entrepreneur. And her brother was doing okay but he was not making a lot of money by any means. What was going on in her story is that she could not be more successful until Joey caught up because her whole life as a child was all about making sure Joey was catching up.
K: Yup, yup. She wasn’t even aware of that, that’s something I uncovered. We did the work together. Now when you hear it, you’re like of course, now I get it. When you’re living in that story, you don’t know that’s what’s playing. We did the work around that and helped her release it. That’s one, I got thousands of stories with clients. Most of us, we all have stories, we have lots and lots of stories and we just don’t even realize how they’re coming into play. Another client of mine, she was a little daddy’s girl, like a lot of girls are. Her father used to always spend time with her and they do special father-daughter activities and all sorts of stuff. She was little. One day, while she was still little, her father got a big promotion, I think to be either a CEO or CFO of a Fortune 500 company. Her family had this big celebration, a big party, because he is just getting ready to start his new job, like a big party in the house and everyone was over and they’re celebrating his success and all that stuff. What happened is once he got this new job, he was travelling all the time, he was tired, he was cranky, he was never home. He never had time to do stuff with his daughter anymore because he was always busy or else when he was home he is exhausted, and when he came home, he’s always complaining about the co-workers, about the other managers, about the clients. He was just not that same father anymore. Here’s just a young girl, she’s about six years old and she interpreted that success meant that you’re no longer happy. When you’re successful, you become miserable, you’re successful, you’re stressed. That success was just not a good thing. This was holding another one of my clients back from crossing over six figures because six figures, people use that magic number. Like, oh, you hit six figures. You’re making a lot of money. So that had stopped her. I was able to help her uncover that story and then create her own story of what success looks like. She was easily able to cross over six figures and then keep going onward and upward.
S: Wow. Let’s say I’ve got some money stories, probably.
K: Everyone does.
S: How would you uncover that? How would you unearth my money stories?
K: With a shovel, no I’m just kidding. It’s actually, when my brother was younger, his senior year from high school, he took a year and was in Israel and part of the time he spent archaeological digging. They use almost little itty bitty paint brushes that are so tiny and so delicate. Sometimes that’s what I do. Just like this little itty bitty thing. I have this gift and it’s also an expertise that I have these conversations with people, I know what to ask them, I know what to pick up on. Things just almost become highlighted to me. That’s the direction I’m going.
S: What would be a question that you might ask me to try and unearth this money story that I’m not even aware of that I have?
K: It’s a whole series of questions. One question I might ask you is what’s the most you’ve ever made?
K: It’s a whole process, it isn’t just one question. It’s a conversation. I just want to be straight about it. Isn’t like someone says there’s a magic question and boom, it’s like the flashing lights and all that. It’s like the conversation keeps progressing and I keep hearing things get louder and louder and I kind of know what’s going on.
S: Cool. Do you uncover typically one or multiple money stories in a person? Is there one that overarches, overwhelms their whole life or they typically have four of five or a dozen or something?
K: Everybody has them. Just to be really clear, everybody has them, it’s just how powerful they are in your life. Usually what I hear initially is one bigger one, but then there’s usually lots of other ones. What I love about the work I do, is that even though you might have for example, three, four, five key money stories, that it isn’t like you’ve got to spend a zillion years working on clearing out your key money stories. As one starts to shift, usually the other ones start to shift a bit too, which is kind of cool.
K: It isn’t like you have to do, now I spent a year on this one, now I gotta spend a year on that one, that’s not how it works with me. Everything is so interrelated that it’s cool that you start seeing shifts.
S: You’re typically making these shifts for your clients through tapping or through multiple strategies?
K: Tapping, a lot of mindset work, different types of mindset work. All different things. Part of who I am is being really results oriented. Sometimes it’s tapping and understand, I know about four dozen different tapping techniques as well as I have made up on my own, just my own expertise. For me it’s all about how can I help this person move through it in the best way possible. I’m not it has to be tapping or it has to be an affirmation or it has to be whatever. It’s like what’s going to help you the best and that’s where I go, that’s where I’m guided.
S: Okay, got it. Are you working with somebody yourself to reveal your money blocks and your different mindset issues?
K: Oh, absolutely. I work with three different coaches. I would say ever since probably my second year, I worked with multiple coaches at a time because I don’t really find anyone like me who has both the business expertise that I have, because I had 18 years and before that I have other business experience, I’ve got so much of it as well as my high level of mindset. I usually work with people who are really good in mindset and then people who are really good in business and then I pull the two together on my own.
S: I work with multiple coaches as well for different things. I have a coach that is helping me with sales, I have a coach who’s helping me with my webinars and switching from live webinars to evergreen. Yeah, it’s very effective. Very, very effective. That’s different from working with a mentor, right? A coach, somebody you pay, work with on a weekly basis, you have an hour long call, or whatever. Whereas a mentor puts you under their wing and you’re probably not paying them, but they’re paying it forward by working with you and then you’ll hopefully do that yourself someday. Do you have a mentor that you’ve worked with in the past or that you’re working with now?
K: I’ll tell you, mentorship, how you described is how I used to describe it but not a lot of people who are doing that “for free” anymore. Even if you do talk about mentorship, because I often use that word about being a mentor, I still expect to get paid. If I’m taking them under my wing, they’re probably at a very high level of coaching with me.
S: Okay. Somebody who’s getting mentored by you is paying you money.
S: And it’s a higher level that regular coaching with you.
S: Okay. Got it.
K: For example. One of my clients is doing her first three day event, she’s on day two. Not only did I do extra coaching with her, we texted back and forth the day before, yesterday, we also talked yesterday. It’s much more than just your regular coaching call, however often that might be.
S: Yeah. I have coaching clients that I work with and we have weekly calls. If they want to talk other times during the week, I’m not available, or if they want to shoot me emails on an unlimited basis, it’s another thing where you just have to keep boundaries up. For coaching clients, I’m not available for unlimited email support. That’s just with my consulting clients. I’m curious, what do you charge to get mentorship from you?
K: I have all different levels. If people are interested, if anybody listening is interested, the best thing to do would be to set up a time to talk to me and email firstname.lastname@example.org. We talk about what’s right to see if it’s a good fit. Because I want to make sure I’m the right fit for you too, that’s really important. It’s all across the board and that’s why I feel really uncomfortable just giving a price because it really depends on what somebody needs, if they’re the right fit, the number doesn’t mean anything.
S: You also offer VIP Days as well, right?
K: I have VIP Days, I also do retreats, which I’m getting really excited, got one retreat next week and then I’ve got one in Cancun and it’s so cool. Stephan, this is something that I started attending and I was like I think this is so cool, I want to do one too. I’ve been doing it for the last four, five years in my business. And I love, love, love, love doing retreats because people always say to me after, Kate, you did not charge enough. That’s because they just got so much value, they make lifelong friends, the breakthroughs are totally phenomenal. It’s just so energizing and exciting, it’s just so really, really powerful experience. I do those a couple times a year, just a really, really small group of people. Typically, most people didn’t know anybody when they got there, they just become lifelong friends because I’m very, very good at attracting the right people and then the environment I set is very, very safe, very vulnerable, so people are able to really be transparent and show up. As that expression goes, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” People are really, really respectful of what’s said there, that’s really key.
S: Yeah. What’s the difference as far as you’re concerned between a retreat and a mastermind?
K: A retreat to me is a short term thing, mine happens to be three days. Sometimes I’ve seen other ones that are two days or four days, whatever, but it’s typically a very short time. With me, the way I look at a retreat is that somebody is coming with something specific. It’s like if I could just work to this, this is just going to shift so many things. Like maybe it’s charging what you’re worth, maybe it’s figuring out your niche, maybe it’s releasing a money story. It’s something really specific. It’s like damn, if I could just figure this out, everything will just start changing after that. Or some things you don’t know, some things like I just need to know why is it that I can’t do it, why is it that everytime I ask for more money I back down, whatever the heck it is that’s going on with you. It also is about the attendees, at least how I do it. Stephan, when people come to the retreat, even though I have some ideas of things I want to teach them, it’s really about them, it’s their days. I make sure that they get what they came for. Whereas to me, I don’t do mastermind but I do a year long coaching program and that’s when I have agenda that I do plan on teaching. Yeah, we do obviously have lots of time for whatever they need help and support with and their coaching calls and stuff like that. To me, that’s the difference. As well as my coaching program is a year long versus coming together for a couple of days.
S: Got it. I’m just curious, do you have them pay upfront for the whole year to do the coaching program or is it on a month by month basis?
K: Some of my clients pay in full, and some my clients pay each month, really depends on their financial situation.
S: So you do a lot of speaking, let’s talk about that for a bit. You speak at your own events and you speak at other people’s events. How did that start for you? Were you just a great speaker right out of the gate or were you terrible at first and then you had to practice and get on small stages where they would take you and then you got better over time and then you got on bigger stages? How did that all work for you?
K: Oh Stephan, I was just phenomenal. First time I walked out, I rocked it.
S: I was terrible when I started and shockingly bad. I just decided I’m going to keep doing it until I got really good at it. It was embarrassing because I was so bad at it. Actually, my first speaking gig, I got to not only do a general session at this conference but I chaired the conference and I did a post conference workshop, and I was terrible at all of it. Just keeping people on time and keeping things energized and fun and transitioning from one speaker to the other as a chairperson, it was atrocious, it was bad. But then these different conference producers, they poach each other’s speakers, they look at the brochures of their competitors and they start calling up all the speakers on those competing brochures and so I would get hit up with all these different speaking opportunities even though I was terrible at it. They didn’t know that, they just saw me on these other competitor brochures and I just say yes to everything because I just wanted to keep hammering at it until I was good. Eventually I got really good at it but it was something show, I won’t say the word because we’ll have to bleep it out. But it was like that for several years until I got good at it. So how about you?
K: For me, I don’t really know the phrase and I’ll explain what it is in case for the listeners who don’t, I’m an ambivert. You ever heard that before? Daniel Pink refers to it a lot, he’s a best selling author, it’s like a combination between introvert and extrovert. In other words, what it means now is I can go speak on a stage and I love it and it’s fun and I do great and all that stuff but you’re not going to see me up dancing on tables. Then after I get through speaking, I want my space. Where somebody who is an extrovert, they’ll enjoy but they’re going to be like, hey, let’s party after. It’s a type of thing that I really had to get out of my comfort zone. When I first started my business, literally Stephan, literally, within 24 hours after I started my business, I got a call to host a radio show. It was at a real radio station, it was before all the podcasts and all that. I was like, wow! How cool is this? Brand new entrepreneur, now I’m going to be a radio host, I thought it was great and I said yes and then I got the phone and said, what the heck am I doing? This was at a real radio station, with a producer, they point at you, the mic goes red, they run commercials, all sort of stuff, people call in. And then I realized, jeez, I guess I have a bit of a fear of public speaking which is one of the top three fears there is in the world, is the fear of public speaking. I actually worked with somebody who helped me overcome my fear and which is great because otherwise, none of what I’m doing now would happen. As a result, even in my radio show, I had my show for about two years, I had people like Jack Canfield on it, [00:03:42], Neale Donald Walsch, Ali Brown, Bruce Lipton, Elizabeth Lesser. I just had some really, really awesome people, tops of the top, be on my show. I never would have been able to do it if I didn’t overcome that. And then when I decided to your point about speaking on stages, the first thing I ever did was a workshop and you’ll get a kick out this, Stephan, you’re talking about your story. The first workshop I ever did was at a youth center. I rented a room and you know when you’re brand new, you have no money. I rented the room, I think it was like $15 or $16. The price was right even it was still kind of high, I think that would do it. Here I am, I’m trying to teach mindset stuff and the kids are playing basketball, you hear the pounding over and over again because they’re practicing with their hoops and on the wood floor and all that. Anyways, I just kept trying to figure it out on my own and ultimately I worked with different mentors who helped me with it and I just set the intention which the work I do is really teaching about setting intentions and how to achieve goals. I set intentions of that this is the thing I want to really incorporate in my business and it was really something really important. I think the event I met you in, I was their only guest speaker, I was their keynote. I got to speak for about an hour in front of 350 entrepreneurs in California. I had set this intention before it happened, I want a standing ovation. I don’t know where I got that from, it was just like I want it. That was the intention I set and damn, I got that standing ovation. It’s like anything new, anything you’re willing to get out of your comfort zone. You have to work with experts and practice and be willing to look foolish and be willing to make mistakes and just keep getting out there and doing better and better and better. Don’t you think?
S: Oh, for sure. As they say, all growth happens outside the comfort zone. Got to keep stretching.
K: Exactly, exactly.
S: This ambivert concept that you learned from Daniel Pink, how does that help you? Because I tend to think of myself as an introvert and that actually doesn’t serve me. It helps me to get all anxious and worked up, like for example I’m doing a TV appearance tomorrow in Reno, on ABC Reno. I’m not looking forward to that. I should be because it’s an amazing opportunity, it’s part of my media tour, I’m going to be doing TV appearances all over the US and it’s all starting at Reno and that’s a pretty small market, it’s like 108 market or something. It’s not high stakes, it’s not like I’m going to be on TV live in LA or something. Yet I’m like oh, this is freaking me out, this is really uncomfortable. And it’s probably partially because I’m an introvert and I know all the self-help stuff. I teach it to others as well, I learn it from so many experts. This idea that there are no true thoughts, only thoughts that either serve or don’t serve you. And this thought doesn’t serve me, that I’m an introvert. It takes energy to get out there and be bubbly and interactive with people. Doesn’t serve me. How does this ambivert idea serve you?
K: An introvert really, to use your example of being in a TV show or me speaking on stage, will [00:07:22] pushed on stage. There’s so much discomfort. Something you don’t want to do, an extrovert would be like woohoo, bring it on! Let’s do it over and over again. The thing I understand about being an ambivert is that I know it is getting me out of my comfort zone, but I also know I’m prepared, I also know I have an amazing message to share, but also understanding who I am personally that I know I need my time after to reground and grounding is something I teach all my clients, which is really, really important because when you’re grounded then you feel solid, you got a good sense of self, you’re nodding your head, you’re feeling like everything makes sense. Understanding that I am an ambivert helps me understand that if I’m speaking or if I am hosting an event, that I need to make sure I need to give myself time afterwards, just to reground back in. Whereas again, an introvert will probably be throwing up afterwards. That’s definitely not me. I’m like woohoo, but yet I’m not going to be like hey, everybody! Let’s go to the bar, drinks on Stephan. That’d be the extrovert.
S: Yeah, yeah.
K: Then it helps too, in understanding for you. You said you’re somewhat getting out the comfort zone, so for you, you start kicking off a tour, that’s getting out of your comfort zone. Naturally, it’s going to create stress and all that kind of stuff.
S: Right. It actually is maybe a useful framework for me to take on, is like, wow, actually I’m an ambivert more than an introvert because I can turn it on whenever I need to. When I go out on stage, I’m in presentation mode. I’m witty, I’m funny, I’m clever, I’m energetic, energizing, and I am in control of the audience. I’m like okay, everybody, you guys look sleepy so stand up! Yes, I’m serious, stand up. We’re going to do a little calisthenics or we’re going to do a little breathing exercise, yogic breathing or something. I get people who have never done that in that kind of environment of sitting in an audience to do something really extraordinarily out of their comfort zone. That’s empowering and awesome and then I go back afterwards and I’m like ugh, thank God that’s over.
S: And then I do need to recharge or reground, as you call it.
K: So if you’re aware of that thing, you make sure that you give yourself time afterwards. Doesn’t necessarily have to be immediately that second, but it might be that evening, whatever you like to do, whether it’s go for a walk or go for a run, go out to dinner with your wife. Whatever the heck it is, but something that helps center you.
S: Yeah, makes sense. Cool. You’re speaking how often? Weekly, monthly? And how much of that is your events versus somebody else’s?
K: Actually, majority of it is not my events. I am doing a retreat coming up in January in Cancun and then I’ve got another retreat in Boston. And then I’ve got my bigger event in June but most of it is speaking in other people’s, going to their conferences or events or whatever that they’re doing so I can share my message. I don’t know if I shared this with you earlier, Stephan, but my dad passed away last March and I had the gift of holding one of his hands as he took his final breath, my sister held his other hand. When you go through something like that, it’s a very, very powerful experience, very transitional experience. Afterwards, I really thought about it and I said, you know, this all has to mean something. My dad’s life has to mean something, my life has to mean something, me experiencing this with my dad has to mean something. I’ve used that to propel me, to really get my message out in an even bigger way and to keep pushing and looking for more avenues to speak. For listeners, if you do have any opportunities, please reach out to my team at email@example.com. But I just know that life is too short and when you go through an experience like that, however you choose to let it affect you, that’s how I chose to use it and know that my dad will want me to just go forward and just helping as many people as possible and share my message and creating as any transformations as possible.
S: Yeah. If you have to choose between sit in front of the TV, watching the latest Netflix series or getting outside your comfort zone, doing something that is really unsettling because it’s so new and so outside of your core expertise like being on TV or whatever, or being on today’s show, you’re going to opt for the thing that is really uncomfortable because you feel like that’s part of your legacy and your dad’s legacy.
K: Yes. As long as it’s aligned with the vision. I think in my business, I’ve been doing it long enough that I have the right to choose what I say yes and what I say no to. A lot of clarity to of what’s really, really important to me because I’ve tried so many different things. It’s really, really all about it, being aligned. Question I always ask myself is does this honor me before I do anything. Instead of getting caught up with oh, you should do this, you should do that, I don’t believe that we become entrepreneurs because of that. I really believe that it’s about understanding about what’s so critically important to us, to have us live the lives that we really love and getting clear on what’s going to help up continue to do that and do more of it.
S: Yes. I love that, does this honor me? That reminds me of the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Great book. have you read that one?
K: Yes, yes. What she says, Marie Kondo is, does this spark joy?
K: I was teasing my mom because her middle name is Joy. I was like, does this spark Joy? But yeah, that’s same thing with her messages in a nutshell, those people who haven’t read the book, is that there’s a whole process behind it basically you’re asking yourself about everything is that does this item spark joy? Does it make me happy? And if it doesn’t, you get rid of it. Doesn’t make a difference if you just bought it, if a price tag is still on it, if it’s never been worn or used, or if it’s 23 years old, it just doesn’t matter. You get rid of it if it doesn’t spark joy. It’s a same thing how I actually learned this phrase from an early mentor of mine. Sandy Taylor, who was a big author and New Times Author, best seller in both sides. She taught me that phrase and that’s just what I do. that’s a whole thing, you’re doing this tour and hopefully you ask yourself like if this whole big thing that you’re launching, does this honor me and the same thing with me, I always ask myself, if someone invites me to speak, does this honor me? Is it aligned with my core values? Whatever I do, whether it’s writing a book, whether it’s writing a blog, whether it’s doing a radio show interview, whatever the heck it is, Stephan, it’s always about does this honor me and that’s why back to what you’re saying about being grounded is so important because if you don’t feel grounded, it’s hard to be able to get in touch with is this the right thing for me to do?
S: Yeah, so true. When you transition from just speaking on other people’s stages to speaking on your own stages, because there’s a lot involved in running your own event. It’s a small deal when you’re just paying $16 to rent a room and bring a small group together and you got basketball playing in the background. It’s a big deal when you’re putting $50,000 down to a hotel and the catering, and it’s a huge ballroom and everything and you’re really hoping that you fill all those seats because otherwise you’re going to lose a lot of money.
K: An event planner and so on, AV that you go to hire and all that kind of stuff. Exactly.
S: Yeah, the stakes are high.
K: Stakes are high and I’ve done it and I’ve also coached a lot of clients who are getting ready to have their events. Like one of my clients, he set an intention, a goal for him, and he actually exceeded it for his multi day event. Another one of my clients, it was his first multi day big ballroom in New York City and he did multi six figures on it. There’s so much behind it, so many parts and pieces.
S: Yeah. It’s very high stakes but it’s also a high potential reward if you do it right.
S: You could make way more money doing your own event, you build way more rapport and relatedness because it’s your own three day event or whatever. You can bring in guest speakers to come and speak on your stage, share their message and their offer and so forth, but there’s nothing to replace the fact that it’s your show, it’s your gig, then you can put the best offer in front of your mastermind programmer or some sort of year long coaching program or some high ticket offer that is much more likely people will say yes to than if you’re just a one hour speaker.
K: Exactly. That’s why it’s a mix because even just doing these big events, it’s a huge amount of work. It’s a huge amount of work. Whereas you go to show up for somebody’s event, assume you practice and all that, you got to get out there. It’s a different amount of work. It’s a combination of things. Just cover what you like there. Some people who used to do big events won’t do big events anymore, there are some people who won’t go speak and see other people’s stages. It’s really just uncover what feels right for you.
S: What feels most right for you? Is it retreats, is it workshops, is it big events?
K: Yeah. For me, I personally love working with people more intimately. I love speaking in big stages, I’ve spoken with thousands of people and all that, I love that part. When it’s someone else’s event, personally, I love being able to work with people more intimately. I love retreats. If I’m hosting, I love retreats. If I am speaking at any stage that I have the opportunity to really connect and make that difference in people’s lives, I love when people, after I’ve spoken, say I called my husband after I spoke to you and told him about this. I get really excited. There are a lot of groups where I go out and speak and I’m the one introducing them to the whole concept of mindset and core beliefs and all that. I take that responsibility very seriously.
S: Cool. You also offer VIP Days. That’s something that I was not aware of until maybe a couple of year ago, I didn’t even know it was a thing. I knew about seminars, I knew about workshops, masterminds but not VIP Days. It’s essentially like you get to work with the mentor, the coach, the expert for a full day or a half day or whatever time frame is, but it’s expensive usually. Can be $10,000, $20,000 depending who it is you’re getting VIP day with. You offer these VIP Days, is that something that…
K: I’ve both been the client and been the mentor. So yes. VIP Days are great. The way I look at it, when I talk to somebody, it’s really what that they want to accomplish. A VIP Day is great if you’re the type of person who’s like, to use your example about an event. I got an event coming up in nine months, I want to put some planning together, figure out the whole structure, how to fill it, how to do this, how to do that. Oh man, we just go to town and get your whole thing. You walk out of it and you’ve got your plan. On the other side too, where I’m also a mindset expert, a lot of people come to me and say I keep moving forward and this is where I get stuck. It allows us all that time for me to really go and dive deep and do some huge, huge powerful mindset work. We’ve got lots of time and space for that person to get these major transformations. Like one woman said that after her VIP Day with me, she drove home, it was the middle of winter, she rolled down the window and she said she sang at the top of her lungs. She said, I’ve not felt this good in years. It just allows for that. It really depends on what you want to accomplish and really your own style. Other people prefer, give me this little piece now and then give me this piece and then give me this piece. It’s really interesting what’s going to help you the best. I’m all about helping my clients get the best results. I’m not so tied to oh, it has to be a VIP Day or it has to be the retreat or whatever. It’s like what’s going to help you the best and my offer is what meets that match the closest.
S: Yup. I’m curious. You’ve told me this before. But what is your pricing again for VIP Day?
K: For VIP Day, it’s $12,000.
S: You’ve done VIP Days with other where you are the client.
S: What was the highest you ever paid for VIP Day?
K: I’ll say probably paid pretty close to $12,000.
S: Okay, cool.
K: Always worth it. The things with the VIP Day, you got to know exactly what you want to cover.
S: Can’t be the sort of stuff like, okay, give me a recap of what you already teach in your online program. You have to be laser focused on things that you’re trying to get out of that.
K: Yeah. What I find out too, is that often a client will come thinking it’s one thing and I uncover it’s something else. That’s the beauty of the time that it allows you. On the other hand, when I do my retreat, my retreats are like a group VIP Day. It’s much more affordable, and you’re with a very, very small intimate group. What people love about that too is that not only do they learn from their own hot seat but also they learn from everybody else’s hot seat too. There’s always pros and cons where you are, what you’re at, what you need. Again, what’s going to help you the best? That’s the most important thing, what’s going to help you the best.
S: Yeah. What would you say to somebody who’s listening who doesn’t have any budget available, maybe for the price of a book or an audio program, what would you tell that person to start with what programs? What would be your favorite books that have been life changing for you or your favorite audio or DVD programs?
K: Mine or somebody else’s?
K: Both. If it were me, I would say definitely get my free report, definitely follow me on Facebook. I do Facebook Lives, I do podcasts, I write articles. There’s a lot of stuff you can get for free, to start working that way. Favorites that I love, oh my gosh, there’s so many things I love. I’ve always got 22 books going at one time. There are so many really, really great people out there and everyone has their own style. It’s understanding who do you like better. Do you like more masculine, do you like more feminine. Gosh, one of my favorite books that I always recommend is really the Four Agreements. It doesn’t teach you really about growing a business but it really, really helps you on just getting to ground, to get a really good understanding of what is going on.
S: How about Think and Grow Rich?
K: Yeah, Think and Grow Rich is another really great book. Yeah, there are so many. You would laugh if you saw my Kindle. Honest to goodness, I’ve got so many books. Plus, I’m also reading the new book by Scott Kelly, the astronaut who spent the year in space, which I’m so thrilled because it’s got nothing to do with being an entrepreneur but in every way it does, because this guy was constantly taking risks, which is what we do as entrepreneurs. You don’t even have to just read a business book, you can go get his book out of the library and he talk about how we overcame all the challenges and then finally got to focus and got clarity and he spent a year in space. How cool was that?
S: Yeah, amazing. Awesome. Thank you so much, Kate. If somebody wants to take the next step and work with you directly or attend one of your events, where should we send them to?
K: Yeah. The best thing to do is please email my team firstname.lastname@example.org, you might want to put in the subject like want to talk to Kate or looking for a coach or something like that. Again, it’s email@example.com. And then what’ll happen is if you’re really serious about this, we’ll setup a time to talk. Really, the best part is the whole point of the conversation is to see are we a good fit, do we work well together. Because I’m all about helping people get results and I want to make sure that what I can help you with what my brilliance is, is going to be able to help you with where you’re stuck. And make sure we’re on the same page about it and then what happens is that’s when the magic happens.
S: Awesome. Thank you, Kate, thank you listeners. We’ll catch you on the next episode of the Optimized Geek. This is your host Stephan Spencer signing off.